The time has come for me to head back into reality and get back to work. Not too excited about that. I have recently spent a lot of time reflecting on the past four years. When McKenna was a newborn and I was home with her I had a difficult time. We had a lot going on in a short amount of time; moving back to Nebraska, Matt getting deployed, a job search for me, and adjustment to life as a single parent with the added stress of not knowing whether my husband would return home alive. Looking back, I feel like I didn't get to enjoy that time with McKenna to the full potential. At that time, I prayed for a distraction because every day that went by without hearing from Matt was a day that I looked at sweet McKenna and wondered if she would ever actually know her daddy. By nature I am an anxious worry-wart. I worried that this time around I would suffer from the same anxieties even though the circumstances are completely different. I prepared myself for the worst and ended up with the best.
These past eight weeks have been heaven and it really has nothing to do with not working. I love my job and the opportunity that I have everyday to help children and families. But to have the opportunity to bring precious Max into the world and watch McKenna embrace every aspect of becoming a big sister has been priceless. McKenna adores her little brother and wants to help in any way possible. She told me that she wants to help me so that she can be a good mommy when she grows up. Does anything compare to that? We have been so very blessed.
Max is growing and changing all the time. Just today he gave me his first giggle along with a big ol' smile. It's amazing to me how those smiles and giggles can warm my heart. I recently was discussing this with my parents because those first few weeks you spend so much time cuddling and caring for your child as they stare at you with a blank expression. When you experience those first smiles it is a feeling of success. You know that all you have been doing has made your baby happy.
Matt is doing such an amazing job as a father of two. I think McKenna expects that my attention might be on the baby so she has been quite demanding of Daddy recently. He has been so tolerant of her need for attention even though her most desired activities revolve around role playing. He plays an excellent restaurant waiter as well as grocery store cashier! ;) As we have moved into football season, Max should be well versed on the game. Matt spends a lot of time explaining the game to him.....clearly excited to have another boy around!
And my sweet McKenna.....she is the ultimate big sister. Some day her love for Max will likely drive him crazy. Right now it is just plain cute. She loves to lay on the floor and talk to Max, which typically makes him grin from ear to ear. We have definitely seen some changes in McKenna as she is no longer the one and only. But honestly, I can not complain. She is adjusting very well and clearly loves her little brother!
As I head back to work, along with praying for the winning lottery ticket I am also counting my blessings. The challenging times with McKenna when she was a baby made me a stronger person and the bond between McKenna and I rock-solid. This time at home with Max and McKenna has been the best way to comfortably transition from a family of three to a complete family of four. We have had so much support from family and friends that love our children as their own. On that note, I should mention that I am terrible at thank you notes. Please know that we appreciate your love and support more than anything! Again, we are so very blessed.
Sidebar: In no way am I trying to suggest that we have this perfect life. Bringing a new child into the world brings some stress and a lot of sleepless nights. But as I sit and type this post I don't think about all that and I think that is very telling. Family is everything and I feel so lucky to have a happy one. Wishing the best for all of you!
Megan
